You'd think after nearly 4 years of college i would be used to this-- That I would be a good study-er; actually do my reading and not procrastinate assignments. I guess I'll never learn. I have very little self discipline.
Speaking of discipline. One of my tests is for my MFHD (Marriage, Family, Human Development) 240 parenting class. We've learned a lot in the last month--writing out the answers to my 4 page study guide for the test has proven this fact to me. We learned about parenting styles--Authoritative (high control, high warmth), Authoritarian (High Control, Low warmth), Permissive(High warmth, low control) and Uninvolved (low control, low warmth). The best one is Authoritative parents And the worst is Uninvolved parents. It's just interesting to me that when we are studying, especially at BYU, we relate everything to the gospel, and authoritative parenting styles as all the other ways of "good parenting" that research finds-- fit right in with the teachings in the gospel and the Proclamation. It's definitely not coincidence.
1/5 of My Notes (good things I've learned):
Parents Need to have a Balance of both warmth/responsiveness (being attuned, supportive, and acquiescent to children’s special needs and demands) & Demandingness/Control (maturity demands, supervision, disciplinary efforts, confronting a disobedient child)Baumrind’s Parenting Styles: (Parents try their best to teach and to help them understand--Instead of making them behave a certain way.)
--Induction—Directs in rational issue-oriented manner; Encourages verbal give/take; Shares w/the child the reasoning behind parental policy and solicits the child’s objections when child refuses to conform; “Reflection enhancing messages”
--Exerts firm control when the young child disobeys, but does not hem the child in with restrictions
--Love, Latitude, Limits
15. Know positive discipline strategies and how they are used:
*Righteous dominion invites rather than makes children adopt the parents’ perspective
*Authoritative parenting is in sync with Proclamation, scriptures, and teachings of modern-day prophets
*Child rearing is individualistic—each child is unique—a matter of prayerful discernment
*Finding ways to effectively help children learn how to regulate their own behavior in non-coercive ways—requires creativity, effort and inspiration
*Considering both developmental level and individual temperament of each child
*Discipline: to teach and (further) prepare rather than punish
- Appropriate limits/rules
- Explaining rules and consequences in advance
- Following through—in calm, clear manner
- Playing a consultant role to help older children think through decisions
- See misbehavior as an opportunity to teach
- Applying the gospel: “True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and beliefs.”
*8-10 positives for every negative
*Alternatives to physical punishment: reproving, withdrawing privileges, requiring restitution, following through on promised consequences which are logically tied to the act
*Prepare more than you Punish
35. Specific dimensions of psychological control (negative parenting practices)
Constraining Verbal Expressions- changing subject; interrupting; speaking for other; lecturing; dominating conversation; ignoring others’ comments; showing disinterest
Invalidating Feelings—discounting, misinterpreting, or assigning a value (good/bad; right/wrong) to expressed feelings; mind reading; sarcasm and teasing about feelings
Personal Attack—Reminding another of responsibilities to the family, questioning another’s loyalty, bringing up another’s past mistakes or embarrassing behaviors, blaming, being condescending or patronizing
Guilt Induction—Laying guilt trips on others, playing the role of the martyr, saying that if others really cared, they would do as you instruct
Love Withdrawal—Threatening to withdraw love or attention if another doesn’t act as required; looking or turning away; disgruntled facial expressions or physically leaving when displeased with another.
Erratic Emotional Behavior—Vacillating btw caring and attacking expressions—hot and cold
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